Looking in The Right Places

On 3 occasions so far this week, I have been reminded how important conversations about values are. Astrology is an incredibly powerful tool for helping people get at and sort out their priorities.

In a reading with a professional astrologer, you get to hit on all the different departments of your life. Sometimes the one that commands most of your attention is a foil, disguising the one that matters most. Leslie found that out.

She wanted her reading to focus on her relationship with her long-time boyfriend, Grant. After 4 years together, the relationship is stalling and Leslie is concerned that this wonderful loving connection is weakening.

As we explored her chart and the influences of the transiting planets, I called out a notably strong influence in the area of her chart that points to family ties – specifically with brothers and sisters. This type of influence can be stabilizing or disruptive, so I asked Leslie about her relationships with her siblings.

Leslie has a little brother, Eddie, who is lively and entertaining. Eddie is a freelancer, and is between contracts and has been staying with Leslie and Grant for several months. Grant tends to take Eddie under his wing and is steering small jobs his way while Eddie waits for his next big contract due to start in a few weeks.

At first, Leslie did not make the connection, it seems so natural to have Eddie around. Having grown up with him, she is used to Eddie’s ways and the attention he commands in the household.

However, on reflection, Leslie realized Eddie is taking a lot of her time and energy. Eddie is consuming hours of Grant’s time too. Because it is lively and engaging, and isn’t negative attention Eddie commands, it had not bothered her.

As she thought about it, though, she began to see how this is impacting her relationship with Grant. They are having fewer conversations between them and those they do have usually involved Eddie.

When they go out for dinner, Eddie and his antics and activities are the center of attention. Evening conversations are long and lively, with Eddie at the center, and they all usually tumble off to bed exhausted. Weekends are filled with Eddie’s commanding presence too.

Only Leslie had seen it as something she is used to – bubbly Eddie filling the house with life – and not as something that comes between her and Grant.

During our reading, Leslie began to notice how she and Grant were tending Eddie instead of each other. They are giving Eddie time, instead of each other.

It is often all too easy to choose the familiar over the important and the immediate over the significant. Because our values are constantly shifting in response to circumstances, their order of priority can become jumbled.

We need to take time regularly to reflect on priorities to make sure we are giving the important things the consideration and attention they need.

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